What a stress mess

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I am so very stressed.
I feel like giving up, but I know why I feel so stressed. I'm procrastinating, slacking, yet making all these inspirational plans and goals that I NEVER follow! Why are resolutions meant for being unresolved? Am I destined to have unresolved resolutions since I've started to make them?

I'm a mess. Homework is piling up, and its not because I have a ton. Its because I am a dreadful mess. I am slacking. Its so weird. I try so hard to focus, but I can't. I just cannot. Or I wont?

I should ban myself from going out at all. Have a mandatory ground till my O levels are done. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Why don't I ever prioritize right?

I have a post way back about reading a literature novel to improve my passion and love for literacy. I've never touched that book since. Its not that its boring. On the contrary, its so full of passionate literacy in all the right written ways. It should be driving me to love literacy, and thus result in my guaranteed A1 for my Literature examination. But no. My mind has to divert me to all things material.

Fashion. Beauty. and Excuses.

If only excuses could literally be burned. Then maybe I'd start to realize. I keep giving excuses, pushing my workload back, telling myself I need a break, when breaks are all I've been taking recently, including this break. But its okay, because I have a ton of excuses at the back of my head waiting to break free. NOT. I annoy myself. I REALLY DO!

So now that I've emphasized to myself what a mess I've made of myself, maybe I'm ready for the two tests I'm supposed to take tomorrow, and the ton of homework right beside me.

Its 1.30am by the way.

I have no idea how to cope. At all.

XOXO
C